We Blinded Ourselves With An Ode to Science


What do you think of when you hear the phrase “science toy”? Running away? Nerds? Putting a bra on your head? Might the words “fun” or “cool” come to mind? No? We aim to change that today! Science toys don’t have to involve big frizzy hair, big glasses, or even big brains– all you need is a little thirst for knowledge, some humor, and, well, maybe a bra for your head. Read on, our Einsteins-in-training!

1. Chem C500 Science Kit


How could we not begin a blog about science toys without a science kit? The Chem C500 Kit comes with enough supplies for an evil litmus test, terrifying invisible ink, or a maddening carbon dioxide mix! Muwhahaha, the evil science lab is complete!– or maybe just a small, educational one. It’s your choice, really. And should you accidentally create killer mustard gas, make sure you drop dead as elegantly acted here:

Who knows, maybe Christopher Walken will even come save you, after he insults a fire extinguisher.

2. Science Quiz Clock

dci Science Quiz Clock

Phew, you were so busy being mad that you forgot how late it is! Glance at the Science Quiz Clock and never miss a calculation or bedtime again! Sure, there’s no numbers on the clock face, but what is time when there’s a DNA strand that needs manipulating! Muwhaha! No time can inhibit the creation of a Van Halen-singing monster hamburger!

3. Labcutter Cookies

Indeed, science does have it all, and now it has Labcutter Cookies, too!

Labcutter Cookies
Imagine working so diligently in your evil– okay, okay, slightly good– home lab and experiencing a sudden ache in your abdomen. Why, you’re hungry! Yet, you want not to leave your science experiments unattended. Use these metal cookie cutters to shape beakers, test tubes, flasks, and (everyone’s favorite) molecules! Now you’ve got science in mind AND body!

4. Lab Flask Shot Glass
lab flask shot glass geeky nerdy scientist

Bah, you’re a professional of science, not a five-year-old! Wash down those science lab cookies with a proper concoction from a Lab Flask Shot Glass! Just the right amount of science to still be casual, the science lab basic offers a gulp of the poison of your choice! Go on, be the life of the party!– you do get invited to parties, don’t you? What about attending the party of Dr. Frankenstein himself with all his various creations? Knock ’em dead, literally!

5. Periodic Table Shower Curtain

Periodic Table Shower Curtain

Science can be dirty, but of course, no ordinary cleaning process will do for you. You must be surrounded with science at all times to keep your mind focused, and a Periodic Table Shower Curtain provides just the right amount of privacy with the elements that every reputable scientist should know like his/ her name. But just in case, you can always sing this sort-of catchy tune behind your shower curtain:

And don’t forget about those budding scientists in the family! Get them interested in science and maybe astronomy with DIY Galaxy Playdough. All the texture and glitter that kiddies love and the possibility of creating a madder version of yourself that you’ll love, too!

DIY Galaxy Playdough
The evil starts with playdough.

Sure, scientists have a rep for being evil geniuses, but it’s only because we regular folks are jealous that we can’t create from scratch a living being like Frankenstein, the Van Halen hamburger, or that chick from Weird Science. Make fun of them all we might, science geeks and their fancy chemistry toys or kits let them change the world… Or try to conquer it.

Doc Brown back to the future
“What the hell’s a gigawatt?!?”


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