The Rich Stuff: Gold Things With Bling

Slick Rick

Ahh, the rich life… yea, we have no idea what that’s like, so we’re going to pretend with today’s post that’s all about rich stuff! You know, things that make you seem rich. All that glitters and sparkles, the bling-bling, the swag. Just because we can’t afford real gold doesn’t mean we can’t afford to look celebrity-rich. Indulge with us, if you will, with fake gold items and rich stuff!

Gold Bar Paperweight

Gold Bar Paperweight

Gold Bar Paperweight

You know you look rich when you can use your money as office supply. A Gold Bar Paperweight is a spare gold brick that just didn’t fit in your vault, so now it’s taking the place of a regular paperweight, AKA a snow globe. Try it as a doorstop, too– you know, when the doorman is on his break.

Steinhausen Money Clip

steinhausen gold clip-01

Steinhausen Gold Money Clip

What better way to hold your money than with something that’s totally money! Use a shiny gold or silver Steinhausen Money Clip for stashing your bills and flashing your skills. Here’s a trick to keep that illusion going: wrap a twenty or larger bill around a bunch of ones. Or try a large bill around a piece of cardboard. Money-money-money mo-ney! (Mo-ney!)

Fake Gold Grills

Fake Teeth

Fake Grills

Quite possibly the quintessential of all rich gold stuff, Fake Gold Grills (or teeth) really flaunt your assets when you can even dress up your pearly white$. Choose from an array of gem-adorned teeth, gold grills, silver grills, gold and silver grills, grills with frills, skull grills, you name it! Then cheese it up for the girlies or the gents and be prepared for some attention! (Or should we say, admiration from how you rich you must be, hmmm?)

Lomography Diana Baby Gold Edition Camera

Lomography Diana Baby 110 Gold Edition

Diana Baby Photo
Diana Baby Photo Sample

IMG_58381-228x160Nothing says bling like something gold dangling from your neck, and the Diana Baby Gold Edition Camera is something a few notches better than an oversized clock. The Lomography camera is a miniature version of the popular Diana F+ and hangs from (what else) a gold chain for easy access. Geez, if you’re so rich you can dip your analog camera in gold AND wear it like a necklace, we don’t know how you resist using twenty dollar bills as toilet paper.

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness never bought diamond-encrusted gold grills. (Yes, you can quote us on that.) Here’s a few other things that that person never bought (and neither can we, for that matter):

Gold Mercedes
Gold Mercedes
Gold Remote Control
Gold Remote Control
Gold Shirt
Yes, this is a gold shirt worth $200K+.
Gold Crapper
Yes, this is a gold bathroom.

It’s okay to tell yourself that you’re rich in spirit, not gold. It’s also okay to wonder what it’s like to poop in a gold toilet. And it’s certainly okay to dream about what it’s like to have more money than Scrooge McDuck. We all have at some point. Envy not, our readers; instead, let us poke fun at the frivolity and ridiculousness that comes with having too much money with fake gold teeth, a gold paperweight, and other fake gold items! Don’t forget your sunglasses with all this rich stuff! (And if you’re still stuck on the gold shirt, read about it here.)

Magnum Gold
Finally! Gold we can afford!

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